Tommy
James (Jim)
Eric
Anwar
Since losing all my weight, I have four guys interested in me and I know that no matter which one I choose, it could change my life drastically. It is very frustrating.
The first one is my best friend Anwar and I have to say, even if my family and friends can't see it, and even if he is not LDS and will never convert, he is obviously the best choice for me. I know for a fact he would always treat me good. Anwar is my best friend, my companion through good times and bad. My buddy through happy and sad times. Beside me he stands, beside me he walks. He's there to listen, he's there to talk with happiness and smiles and with pain and tears. I know that no matter who I choose, he will be there through the years. He's the one who is there to always catch me when I fall. The only problem is that he is living on the other side of the United States in Maryland. I am seriously thinking about having the cosmetic part of my plastic surgeries done in Maryland, but I think Anwar and I both know that if I do that, than I won't want to ever come back here and would want to be with him forever. When I talked to Anwar today, he told me that if I go there, there is a good chance him and I will be getting together.
Then there is Eric and I know that both Penny and Anwar want Eric out of my life. Anwar is constantly telling me he thinks Eric is crazy. I know he says that though because he has seen the hurt that Eric caused in my life. At one time Eric was my best friend and I fell in love with him. Then without warning Eric disappeared from my life and I never heard from him again until a few months ago. He reappeared in my life expecting to pick up the friendship where we left off, but of course that isn't possible. I could never be his best friend again and I would never give Anwar up as my best friend now that I have him in my life. Yet, there is still a part of me that has feelings for Eric. Eric doesn't want a relationship though, but he has made it clear he wants me to pack up and move to Idaho where he is living now so we can be near each other. It just seems like too big of a sacrifice for nothing. Eric does make me feel good inside, even if he isn't the best choice for me and I know he will just hurt me.
James (Jim) is a really great guy, but I am not sure he is for me. We have gone out a few times and my family really likes him. He served a mission and he goes to church every Sunday. With him I could have eternal marriage in the temple. My family and friends feel Jim is perfect for me, but I am not too sure about that. Jim says we don't know what the future holds and what will happen in the future. He has asked me to wait to see what happens between us, but I am not sure if I can wait. I can't help but wonder, what good is eternity if the man who makes my heart skip a beat is Anwar? Anwar will never convert to Mormonism. He is a Muslim and I respect that.
Last, but not least is Tommy. Tommy is the ultimate bad boy just like Eric. They both have long hair, which I like. Tommy is also the type of guy my mom has always warned me against. He is her worst nightmare. Tommy is a hippy. He is also a singer and bass player in a heavy metal band, which I think is cool. I think I have kind of outgrown the whole bad boy thing though because I am finding Anwar to be more attractive and Anwar is far from being the bad boy.
What am I going to do? I know I have to decide soon before I disrupt my whole life. I'm just scared that whatever I decide will turn out to be the wrong choice...
Then there is Eric and I know that both Penny and Anwar want Eric out of my life. Anwar is constantly telling me he thinks Eric is crazy. I know he says that though because he has seen the hurt that Eric caused in my life. At one time Eric was my best friend and I fell in love with him. Then without warning Eric disappeared from my life and I never heard from him again until a few months ago. He reappeared in my life expecting to pick up the friendship where we left off, but of course that isn't possible. I could never be his best friend again and I would never give Anwar up as my best friend now that I have him in my life. Yet, there is still a part of me that has feelings for Eric. Eric doesn't want a relationship though, but he has made it clear he wants me to pack up and move to Idaho where he is living now so we can be near each other. It just seems like too big of a sacrifice for nothing. Eric does make me feel good inside, even if he isn't the best choice for me and I know he will just hurt me.
James (Jim) is a really great guy, but I am not sure he is for me. We have gone out a few times and my family really likes him. He served a mission and he goes to church every Sunday. With him I could have eternal marriage in the temple. My family and friends feel Jim is perfect for me, but I am not too sure about that. Jim says we don't know what the future holds and what will happen in the future. He has asked me to wait to see what happens between us, but I am not sure if I can wait. I can't help but wonder, what good is eternity if the man who makes my heart skip a beat is Anwar? Anwar will never convert to Mormonism. He is a Muslim and I respect that.
Last, but not least is Tommy. Tommy is the ultimate bad boy just like Eric. They both have long hair, which I like. Tommy is also the type of guy my mom has always warned me against. He is her worst nightmare. Tommy is a hippy. He is also a singer and bass player in a heavy metal band, which I think is cool. I think I have kind of outgrown the whole bad boy thing though because I am finding Anwar to be more attractive and Anwar is far from being the bad boy.
What am I going to do? I know I have to decide soon before I disrupt my whole life. I'm just scared that whatever I decide will turn out to be the wrong choice...
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