Sealed To My Family

My dream has always been to be sealed to my family in the temple, but for anyone who knows me they know that was out of the question in the past because my dad wasn't a member of the church. It was one dream that I felt would never come true and that knowledge is partially what led me away from the church for so long. I just didn't see the point in myself continuing to go.

In 2005 I met James (Jim) on an online dating service for LDS members (I am not even sure what I was doing on an LDS site, but I was none the less). Jim and I talked from time to time, but I had no desire to return to the church. Little did I know that him and I would be meeting and that all that would be changing.

I think things have happened in the order they have for a reason. Jim and I were meant to meet I suppose. The chain of events occurred in this order:

• In October of 2007 my neophew who was 15 at the time was baptized for the dead for my dad, so my dad is officially a member of the church now (my dad wanted to be a member, but he always felt it was too late for him)
• In November of 2007 Jim told me that he wanted to meet me offline and I agreed (I still wasn't 100% at the point of wanting to return to church, although I was talking about it to various people, just not with Jim)
• The end of January I talked to the Missionaries and I decided to return to church
• Shortly after that I announced it to my family and friends, including Jim that I was going back
• On February 2, 2008 I went back to church for the first time in many years and have not missed a single Sunday since
• On Valentines Day, 2008 Jim and I met for the first time and went out on our first date
• In March 2008, Jim told me he had prayed about it and that it and that it was impressed upon him that my family would return to church and that they would be sealed to each other (I told him it would take a miracle because I couldn't even get my family to go to church) - he also stated that my dad was waiting for the rest of his temple work to be completed - I thought this was strange, and I asked others at church and they told me that they believed everything Jim had said to me
• On April 2, 2008 we were told that my dad's temple work has been completed
• Also on April 2, 2008 for the first time in about 27 years, my mom, my sister Kat, and I attended church together as a family and we plan to attend church as a family every Sunday from now on
  
• My mom is planning to go to the temple to be sealed to my dad and my sister Sandra, me, and possibly my sister Peggy will be going to the temple with my mom when she does so we can be sealed to our parents

Miracles really do happen and I know I have God to thank for this miracle...

Men

Tommy

James (Jim)

Eric

Anwar

Since losing all my weight, I have four guys interested in me and I know that no matter which one I choose, it could change my life drastically. It is very frustrating.

The first one is my best friend Anwar and I have to say, even if my family and friends can't see it, and even if he is not LDS and will never convert, he is obviously the best choice for me. I know for a fact he would always treat me good. Anwar is my best friend, my companion through good times and bad. My buddy through happy and sad times. Beside me he stands, beside me he walks. He's there to listen, he's there to talk with happiness and smiles and with pain and tears. I know that no matter who I choose, he will be there through the years. He's the one who is there to always catch me when I fall. The only problem is that he is living on the other side of the United States in Maryland. I am seriously thinking about having the cosmetic part of my plastic surgeries done in Maryland, but I think Anwar and I both know that if I do that, than I won't want to ever come back here and would want to be with him forever. When I talked to Anwar today, he told me that if I go there, there is a good chance him and I will be getting together.

Then there is Eric and I know that both Penny and Anwar want Eric out of my life. Anwar is constantly telling me he thinks Eric is crazy. I know he says that though because he has seen the hurt that Eric caused in my life. At one time Eric was my best friend and I fell in love with him. Then without warning Eric disappeared from my life and I never heard from him again until a few months ago. He reappeared in my life expecting to pick up the friendship where we left off, but of course that isn't possible. I could never be his best friend again and I would never give Anwar up as my best friend now that I have him in my life. Yet, there is still a part of me that has feelings for Eric. Eric doesn't want a relationship though, but he has made it clear he wants me to pack up and move to Idaho where he is living now so we can be near each other. It just seems like too big of a sacrifice for nothing. Eric does make me feel good inside, even if he isn't the best choice for me and I know he will just hurt me.

James (Jim) is a really great guy, but I am not sure he is for me. We have gone out a few times and my family really likes him. He served a mission and he goes to church every Sunday. With him I could have eternal marriage in the temple. My family and friends feel Jim is perfect for me, but I am not too sure about that. Jim says we don't know what the future holds and what will happen in the future. He has asked me to wait to see what happens between us, but I am not sure if I can wait. I can't help but wonder, what good is eternity if the man who makes my heart skip a beat is Anwar? Anwar will never convert to Mormonism. He is a Muslim and I respect that.

Last, but not least is Tommy. Tommy is the ultimate bad boy just like Eric. They both have long hair, which I like. Tommy is also the type of guy my mom has always warned me against. He is her worst nightmare. Tommy is a hippy. He is also a singer and bass player in a heavy metal band, which I think is cool. I think I have kind of outgrown the whole bad boy thing though because I am finding Anwar to be more attractive and Anwar is far from being the bad boy.

What am I going to do? I know I have to decide soon before I disrupt my whole life. I'm just scared that whatever I decide will turn out to be the wrong choice...

Confession

I haven't really been eating lately. I have an extreme fear of weight gain. I am beginning to think everyone around me is right. I am an anorexic. I believe this to be true after what happened in church today.

I almost passed out. My friends and family said I turned white as a sheet. They made me promise to go see a doctor about this, so tomorrow I will call and make me an appointment. The bishop's wife says that if I fix my metabolism I will be able to eat just like everyone else and not worry about weight gain. I hope she is right.

I have agreed to transition completely off from the Medifast because this is really frightening my friends and family and that isn't what I want to do. I just want them to see me in a normal way. Not as the 'fat' girl and not as the 'anorexic' girl. I just hope I can follow through with this promise. I am going to try my hardest.

I am ten pounds heavier than I am now in the above picture and I was told by more than one person that I was bordering on too thin. I have this fear though that once the excess skin is removed, I am still going to be fat.

My friends are afraid that I am going to die from not eating. I am afraid they are right, but what can I do when I am too afraid to eat food?

Talk

Tomorrow in Sunday school I will be giving a talk. This is my first talk in years and the first talk I have written. The strange thing I am not nervous. Maybe everyone is right and I have gotten over my shyness after losing weight. They say the new me is outgoing and has a great personality. I wish I could see it for myself. Here is the talk I will be giving tomorrow:

My talk today is about the 8^th Article of Faith, which reads: "We believe the Bible to be the word of God as far as it is translated correctly. We also believe the book of Mormon to be the word of God."

With so many versions and translations of Bibles available around the world today, it leaves a large margin for mistakes to be made. An English teacher once told me, "All it takes is one small word out of context and it can change the whole meaning of what you are trying to say."

In 1^st Nephi 13:26 it reads: "And after they go forth of the twelve apostles of the Lamb, from the Jews unto the Gentiles, thou seest the formation of the great and abominable church, which is the most abominable above all other churches; for behold, they have taken away from the gospel of the Lamb many parts which are plain and most precious; and also many covenants of the Lord they have taken away."

The Bible was written in three languages. No translation is perfect.

The Bible has been translated numerous times for over two thousand years. The books which compose the Bible were written in Greek, Hebrew and Aramaic. Obviously, this poses a problem for most people who would like to read the Bible.

I would like to share with you briefly a personal story.

While growing up I really had no knowledge that other editions of the Bible even existed. I always just had the one I used for church. That all changed for me eleven years ago when my doctor admitted into a nursing home for my weight.

When the staff saw on the forms that I was a Mormon, they didn't like it. They considered the Mormon church to be an occult. They brought in a therapist who was trained to 'save' people from occults. At times it was frustrating for me because I would say something and the woman would say, "That's a Mormon thing" and she acted as if it were something bad.

During that time they were bringing in different people from a lot of different religions to talk to me, which only made me more confused. What stood out the most about these different religions was that they all seemed to have their own version of the Bible which supported their beliefs which they tried to impose on me.

Having been through this experience, I can understand more how a lot of the people I have come in contact with on the Internet feel. These are people who were not raised any religion, but are now trying to find their own spiritual path in life and were not raised knowing the truth as I have been.

Many people are confused and with all the religions and versions of the Bible that are out there, it is easy to see why they would be. The only advise I have for these individuals so as to not add to their confusion is to tell them to pray to God for guidance and he will help lead them to the right path.

Through the study of the scriptures and through prayer, God will reveal the truths to us which are contained in the Book of Mormon. The Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

The Book of Mormon is written for our day. It is the voice of warning, reminding us of all the dangers of ignoring God and rejecting His Prophets. It contains the basics of what Mormons believe about Jesus Christ and teaches clearly about faith, repentance, and obedience to God.

In History of the Church 4:461, the Prophet Joseph Smith said, "The Book of Mormon was the most correct of any book on earth, and the keystone of our religion, and a man would get nearer to God by abiding by its precepts, than by any other book."

To know if the Book of Mormon is really the word of God, you must read it, ponder it, and pray to God to tell you if it is true. You must compare its teachings to those of the Bible. Only by the power of the Holy Ghost can a person truly know if the Book of Mormon comes from God.